Lids
by Ted L Glines

Must hug Mom
eighty-two years young
I must find
the time.

Ah
peanut butter sandwich
tasty before bed
close the bread bag
nice tight knot
and the peanut butter jar
screw that lid down tight.

Um
pillow so soft
warm drifty feeling
what's that picture?
Mom?
it's Mom
in a mirror
me
wrinkled cheeks framed in
white silver hair
and my hands tremble
going to the kitchen
slowly
legs and hips too weak for this
don't get around so good
any more
why is it so far?
hungry
make some toast
but
fingers pick in vain
the bread bag is tied
too tight
so hungry
maybe just spoon some
peanut butter
but
can't open the lid
hands too old and weak
so hungry
crying.

Sweating
sit up in bed
hands shaking
a bad dream about
something
old and weak
frail and hungry
crying
something important
can't quite remember
just a bad dream
must have been the
peanut butter sandwich.

Life Insurance
by Ted L Glines

Got me some insurance
from Colonial Life
and they let me have it
with no paper-work strife
little monthly payment
only seven-ninety-five
they say they won't raise it
long as I'm alive
yep I'm thinking thinking
scratch scratch scratch
it almost sounds
like there might be a catch
but they don't even ask
for a medical test
and they got me covered
'til I go to my rest
but I'm trying to figure
really scratching my head
how I'll spend that money
after I'm dead ...

Lawmen
by Ted L Glines

Songs of cops are ringing loud,
East Baltimore to Hong Kong bay,
we do our job and do it proud,
we don't get near enough pay.

Wyatt Earp in Tombstone,
ruled with gunsmoke style,
when crooks were badder than a bone,
he'd shoot them with a smile.

They ran the booze - we took them down
along the Thunder Road,
Kennedy got rich (did Mafia frown?)
We kept the Lawman's Code.

Across the universe we viewed
endless intrigue and fights,
as hate and evil oft were spewed
against our valiant Jedi Knights.

“I know Darth Vader's got you
really annoyed,
but if you kill him now
you'll be unemployed.”*

That's the problem, don'tcha see,
we draw the ole Blue line,
if we lose all crooks, where'd we be?
We'd all be in the Welfare Line.

But we're not worried - as you can see,
crooks, like fleas, breed wild and free,
we'll load our guns - go forth with glee
and do what we do naturally!

The Force is with us ...

*(from “Yoda,” by “Weird Al” Yankovik, presented on “The Very Best of Dr. Demento”)