Wooly-Booger
by Ted L Glines
Two years ago
bare scalp
instead of hair
going bald
eight-year-old son
laughed at me
girl-friend smirked
and I knew
yes I knew
had to get some help
that's when I found
SkullMed on TV
before and after
bald-then-hair
just what I needed
so I called the number
and started using
this spray every day
every day every day
spray spray spray
and lo and behold
within two months
hair started coming back
and six months later
full head of hair again
I was so thrilled
--- but ---
ten months later
hair growing fast on
arms and legs and tummy
too fast to shave
hair covering my whole
body - growing longer
longer and longer and longer
too much hair for clothes
or even shoes
children saw me - screamed
dogs growled and attacked
I had to run into the woods
fearing for my life
hair growing longer and longer
hiding in the high
mountain woods
people hunting me
running hiding running
deeper into the forests
finding other wooly-boogers
which ran from me
many other wooly-boogers
wooly-boogers everywhere
I ran and ran and ran
saw a low-land cabin
peeking in through the window
saw a man inside
scratching his bald head
watching a TV ad for
ScullMed ...
-----
Sheep Conspiracy
by Ted L Glines
Why is it that modern man seems so easily led astray by political/religious rhetoric and propaganda? This fact of life flies in the face of all theories which say that mankind is the most intelligent creature on earth. And, why is it that most children seem to show more wisdom than they later exhibit in adult life? It is as if something essestial is lost between the ages of 17 and 25 years of age. Why is it that the only angered uprisings are in the third world countries?
A clue may have been found in a partially intact diary unearthed from an airtight vault deep under the ancient Castle Mannheim in the mountains of eastern Germany. The diary dates from about 1735 and appears to have been the writings of one Erik von Kleist, purported to have been a scientist and scribe for the Arcane Knights of the New World Order. His most brilliant student was a younger monk scientist named Andromeda. This statement was found circled repeatedly on an inner diary page which remained perfectly intact:
“Atticus Andromeda hat gefunden dass die Fähigkeit zu wissen, dass Wahrheit von Fiktion im dritten Backenzahn von einem Mann wohnt.” ~Erik von Kleist, Hauptwissenschaftler
Later intact diary pages contain notes indicating that this startling discovery was subsequently dispatched to colleague scientists and doctors throughout the civilized world, and was sent by sailing ship to the colonies in the Americas. As the New World Order was a mission of the Holy Roman Vatican, of course the discovery was sent first to Rome.
By the end of the nineteenth century, some 160 years following this breakthrough, medical surgical techniques had progressed to the point where Andromeda's discovery could be put into practice. Dental surgery, always before a crude process, became more of an understood science during this period. Certain unheard-of things became possible.
You will begin to see the light when you read the translation of Erik von Kleist's circled statement:
“Atticus Andromeda has found that the ability to know truth from fiction dwells in the third molar of a man.”
This was a stunning scientific discovery which would alter the history of the world. In laymen's terms, the “third molar” is known as a wisdom tooth. Beginning at the end of the nineteenth century, dentists removed the wisdom teeth of most adults between 17 and 25 years old. Thereafter, the adult populations of the world became submissive to the dogmas and propaganda of church and state. Now you know why the Pope and world leaders are always smiling.
As for the third world countries and their uprisings, well, the newly organized “Dentists Without Borders” will be addressing that issue.
Do you still have your wisdom teeth?
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